


The Tale of Two Brothers

by jamsiesir (everything)



Series: 50_lovequotes [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Child Abuse, Community: 50_lovequotes, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Orion Black's A+ Parenting, Physical Abuse, Walburga Black's A+ Parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:48:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24649744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everything/pseuds/jamsiesir
Summary: Sirius is only a year and a half when Regulus is born: he can’t remember anything of that very moment - all he can say about it is that he has loved him since his very first cry. Years later, Sirius would rather die than admit how much he loves his little brother, but at six years old he doesn't have all that pride, neither does he have all that anger that will tear them apart.
Relationships: Regulus Black & Sirius Black
Series: 50_lovequotes [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1780588
Comments: 3
Kudos: 47





	The Tale of Two Brothers

**Author's Note:**

> [**anonymous**](https://jamsiesir.tumblr.com/post/620556310666149888/hello-ive-been-checking-your-prompts-list-and-i) asked: Would you consider writing something brotherly between Sirius and Regulus? I’d be happy if you write one of this three: 23, 44, or 45💕  
> Based on this [list of prompts](https://jamsiesir.tumblr.com/post/620102107354251264/prompt-list) taken from 50_lovequotes livejournal community.  
>  **TW:** Physical abuse, **TW:** Psychological abuse

Quotes:

23: _We’re so weird. That’s what I like about us, actually._

45: _A promise is all I want. A promise that you will never forget me._

44: _Tears are words the heart cannot say._

Sirius is only a year and a half when Regulus is born: he can’t remember anything of that very moment - all he can say about it is that he has loved him since his very first cry. Years later, Sirius would rather die than admit how much he loves his little brother, but at six years old he doesn't have all that pride, neither does he have all that anger that will tear them apart. 

«Do it again, Siri!» Regulus little voice calls out, giggling as a four year old does, clapping excitedly. 

Father and Mother are at uncle Cygnus' home, so the two of them are all alone (if you don't count Kreacher) - in moments like this, Sirius feels as free as a bird and does whatever he can to make Regulus feel like that too. 

«Okay,» he says, climbing up the stairs again. «Move, go more on the right - you'll get hurt» he advises his little brother as he jumps onto the banister. He waits to see if Regulus moved away and then, he smiles at him. «Ready, Reg?» as his little brother nods, Sirius gives himself a push, letting his body slide down the banister. 

Regulus shrieks happily, then runs towards him and stands there - his little hands pressed on his sides, big eyes twinkling with adoration. 

Sirius beams at him, then climbs down to stand on the floor and reaches out to hug him. «It was funny, wasn't it?»

Regulus hums gladly, arms going around Sirius' body just like he wanted to do before. 

«Do you know what's more funny, Reg?» the older brother asks, biting down a laugh at the confused face Regulus shows. «The tickling monster!» Sirius announces and then moves his fingers to his sides, tickling him. 

«Nooo, Siri, stooop» Regulus begs, giggling and then laughing out loud, trying to get away. 

_How unfitting of the heir of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black and his brother_ , Sirius thinks in a good imitation of his mother's sneer. Good thing he will never get tired of having fun. 

\--

Regulus hugs himself, hidden in his room, as his parents' voices rumble in the corridor linking Sirius' room to his own. He and his brother were playing their own version of hide and seek, counting together and then running away to hide from Sirius' boring tutor - giggling silently as the man went crazy searching for them. 

Then, Mother and Father came back home and got angry at them. As always, Sirius is taking the blame, getting scolded and - Regulus shudders as the sound of a slap resounds in the silence - and this time isn't even his fault. Regulus has noticed Sirius was bored and - and he has wanted to cheer him up just like his big brother does for him every time. He bites on his bottom lips, feeling his eyes burn at the noises and yells - he swallows the tears down and raises his chin, back straightening up. A Black doesn't cry, it doesn't matter if he is only six years old. 

«Kreacher,» he calls out, voice shaking a little. 

The _crack_ of apparition is too loud. «Master Regulus has called Kreacher?» the house elf asks, looking at him. 

The boy nods, pressing his hands to his eyes in an attempt not to cry. «Kreacher, could you please tell me when Mother and Father go downstairs?» _I want to go to Sirius_ remains unsaid. 

As Kreacher disapparates, Regulus closes his eyes and waits, willing for the time to go quickly. 

After what seems like an eternity, Kreacher apparates again into the room. «Master Orion and Mistress Walburga are in the tapestry room, Master Regulus» he says, bowing until his nose touches the floor. 

Regulus smiles a little at him. «Thank you, Kreacher. You are very nice.»

The house elf looks like he wants to disagree, but doesn't and bows again before disappearing for the second time. 

Regulus climbs down the bed and runs to the door, then tiptoes along the corridor towards Sirius' room. 

As he opens the door, he sees his brother curled up on the bed - his shoulders are shaking and Regulus can see that he is trying to subside the sobs. The boy enters the room slowly, as if trying not to disturb him, then closes the door without making a sound. 

«Sirius» Regulus calls out, going near the bed. 

«Go away, Reg» Sirius replies with a broken voice. 

«I'm sorry, Siri» he keeps on, jumping on the bed. «It’s all my fault, I'm sorry» Regulus tells him, feeling his eyes swell up. «I just wanted to make you smile, Siri - you should have told them, you - » his words are cut off as his brother turns to him, giving him a look that shuts him up. 

«It was my fault, Reg» Sirius says, swallowing some of the sobs that threaten to darken his voice. «Reg, it was my fault. You didn't do anything, okay? It was me. I was the one who suggested it, I was the one pressing you into doing it.»

«You didn't - »

Sirius shakes his head. «I'm your older brother, listen to me» his voice is a bit higher and Regulus presses his lips together, trying hard not to cry. «Whatever happens, whoever initiates it, it will always be my fault, is it clear?» his arms sweep Regulus into a hug. «I'm not going to let them do _this_ to you - it's my job to protect you.»

Regulus nods, then shakes his head, then nods again: family should protect each other, Blacks are supposed to stick together and protect each other - that's what all of their ancestors say. Defending his own brother is Regulus' job too - sometimes he wishes to be as brave as Sirius, so that he can stand up to their parents and keep him safe too. 

\---

«Try not to get in trouble» Regulus says, watching as Sirius observes his new wand. «Cissy will be there for two more years, so you could look to her and - »

«I won't spend time with Narcissa, she's always with Malfoy» Sirius replies, frowning. 

«He will graduate this year, so - »

«- I don't even know if I will be sorted in Slytherin.»

Regulus eyes widen as he hears his words - his face as white as Sirius' bedsheets. «Don't say something like this. You are a Black and you will get sorted in Slytherin just like everyone else.»

Sirius shakes his head and looks at him in defiance. «Look, I didn't want to tell you, but I'm pretty sure I will be in Gryffindor, Reg.»

The ten year old can feel his own body go cold at the thought. «No,» he says, breathless. «No, Sirius. No. You can't be in Gryffindor - Mother will kill you if you are» he stutters, looking at his brother in fear. 

Sirius lets his wand fall on the mattress and reaches out to give him a one-armed hug. «Reggie,» he says, mouth pressed against his brother's hair. «Mother will not kill me,» his voice is steady, but Regulus can read the note of uncertainty in it. «She will probably try to send me off to Durmstrang, but she won't kill the Black Heir» and that - _that_ is the only thing that makes their parents bear Sirius' rebel attitude. 

«She will punish you nevertheless.»

«It’s nothing that I haven't already endured, isn't it?»

Regulus bites his bottom lip, shaking his head. «Please, Siri, please. Try to get into Slytherin, _please_.»

«I don't want to be in Slytherin, Reg.» 

«You _have to_ \- »

«No!» Regulus falls on his back as Sirius takes back his wand and stands up. «You can ask me anything, Reg, anything - but I won't give up on trying not to be like them, I won't stop wanting to be my own person» Regulus watches as Sirius keeps on rambling. «I will endure everything they'll do, but I won't bend. I'll be what I want to be.»

This is the moment, Regulus realises, that changes everything.

This is the moment in which Regulus gets a look into their family's future. 

\--

On September 1st 1971, Sirius is sorted into Gryffindor. 

Father and Mother are furious and Regulus decides to do what Sirius will never do. 

He gives up and bends. 

\--

Sirius' room is red and gold: everything in it screams _Gryffindor, Muggle-lover, Blood traitor_ \- Regulus can feel his stomach churn at the sight of it. Sirius has now friends, people who are everything Regulus will never be. People who fight with Regulus' housemates, who sometimes prank him too - laughing at him. 

Sirius doesn't spend that much time with him anymore: in the summer, he makes sure to attend enough family functions so that their parents won't complain, then he goes to the Potters' as soon as he can, leaving Regulus behind. 

Before going to Hogwarts, Regulus has never imagined this would happen: he and Sirius have made different choices (the most important being rebelling against surviving), but he has hoped Sirius wouldn’t treat him like _that_. Speaking with him is impossible now: they fight every time they are alone in the same place - sometimes they fight even when they’re in the castle grounds, surrounded by students, with James Potter’s arm wrapped around Sirius’ shoulders and Remus Lupin’s hand restraining his older brother’s wand hand. Then, when they try to make amends, they do it at the wrong times, always getting on the other’s nerves as a result.

Regulus doesn’t know how it feels to laugh with Sirius anymore.

He closes his eyes as he hears a shout coming from downstairs: Sirius is fighting again with their parents - they must have talked to Sirius about their plans for him. 

«Are you bloody mad, you crazy bitch?» Sirius is yelling as he climbs up the stairs. «I'm not going to marry Lucretia Goyle or Penelope Crabbe - and I'm not going to marry Druella's niece!» Regulus has the time to return into his bedroom before Sirius and their parents come into sight. «I'm not going to take part of any more inbreeding, fucking - »

Regulus closes the door as he sees his father gripping Sirius' wrist, making him turn towards them.

He sits on the floor as his brother's screams echo in the hallway, at the same time as their mother is yelling ( _You will do what I say, you filthy scum. Mudblood lover, shame of the house of my fathers, staining my blood with your putrid mouth_ ) and their father is probably standing there, in his quiet support to their mother's actions. 

«Walburga» Father says making the screaming stop and Mother shut up. «Tomorrow, you will come to the Rosiers with me and your mother and you will behave as you are expected to do. I won't excuse your _eccentricities_ anymore - is it clear?»

Regulus doesn’t need to look to know what kind of face Sirius is making: it's the one they learnt together, to mask their feelings - look into the distance until you lose the focus, keep every muscle of your face relaxed, feigning indifference to what is happening. Keep it up until they're out of sight and earshot: they will think it implies assent and will go away. 

It takes a minute before Regulus can hear their mother's heels and their father's shoes climb down the stairs, and thirty seconds for him to decide to see how Sirius is doing. 

«Sirius, how - »

His breath hitches while he takes in his brother's figure: there is a cut on his right cheek, and a purple stain on his left temple. What worries Regulus the most is that Sirius is shaking: his entire body trembles as the sixteen years old paces around his own room. 

«I have to go away» Sirius says, then opens his school trunk and begins to take as much clothes as he can from the closet. «I have to go away, I have to go away» he repeats and his voice is shaking too. 

«Sirius - »

«James,» the name strikes a pang of childish jealousy across Regulus' heart. «I need to go to James - they will take me in while I search for a place to stay.»

«Sirius - »

«They will kill me if I wait until I'm of age to get out of this fucking house» his breathing is laboured. «It was the longest she has _crucio-ed_ me - she will kill me if I don't go away»

« _Siri_ »

The nickname seems to do the trick: Sirius stills his frenetic movements and looks up, right into his eyes. He is still shaking, but his gaze is more focused than a second ago. 

«You're running away from home» it's a statement, not even a question. 

«I have to, Reg» Sirius' voice is hoarse. «Do you understand me? I have to.»

 _I'm your older brother - it's my job to protect you_ \- Regulus' mind offers the worst memory at the worst time. 

«You'll be fine, Reggie, don't worry - you're their perfect pureblood son» his voice is mocking as he closes the trunk. «Just - don't let them talk you into anything you don't want to do» Regulus knows Sirius is talking about Bellatrix' and Lucius' new _friends._ «We'll see each other at Hogwarts» if he is trying to reassure him, it doesn't work. 

_Don't go, don't leave me alone._

_I know we don't speak that much anymore, but please - please, Siri._

Sirius brushes past him, dragging his trunk behind him. 

_Please, Sirius, don't forget me here._

\--

Two days after that, the Potters' owl brings them a letter. Signed by Euphemia and Fleamont Potter, the letter contains a list of Sirius' items the Blacks are supposed to send them and an implied threat to bring a lawsuit against them for child abuse if they don't comply. 

Mother forbids Regulus to speak to his brother ever again. 

Regulus, now alone for real, bends. 

\---

Regulus is dead. 

That's all Sirius hears as the Order meeting goes on - his ears are ringing, his blood pumps furiously in his veins. He tries to listen to Frank Longbottom's report, but his mind doesn't seem to want to do it. So, he stares at a point in front of him until he loses focus and relaxes his face. 

Regulus is dead.

_You're running away from home_

«Padfoot, how are you?»

Regulus is dead. 

_Please, Siri, please. Try to get into Slytherin, please._

«Talk to me, Sirius, please.»

Regulus is dead. 

«James, I think something's wrong with Sirius.»

Regulus is dead. 

_I just wanted to make you smile, Siri._

«Sirius, love, will you talk to us?»

Regulus is dead. 

_Do it again, Siri!_

«Pads, I'm getting worried. Please, say something.»

Regulus is dead. 

« _Siri_ »

Sirius' gaze begins to focus again, taking in first Remus' worried face, then James', and at last Lily's. He swallows, he feels dry and he may have a furry tongue. 

«Is the meeting ended?» he asks, and Lily nods. 

«You were out for most of it» Remus says in a kind voice. «We were worried.»

Sirius lets an easy smile stretch his lips as he shrugs - there are only the four of them in the room. «Lack of sleep - I’m not sleeping well» he knows James and Remus can see past his poor attempt to hide what he actually feels, but he can’t help it. «I’m sure I’ll be feeling better tomorrow.»

James hugs him, carding one of his hands in Sirius’ hair while the other caresses his back. «You can talk to me» he whispers carefully. «Do you know it?»

Sirius nods and feels his eyes burn with tears. He closes his eyes and keeps his eyelid shut, as Lily joins the hug. It’s worse, he thinks, it’s way worse with his eyes closed. Sirius can see Regulus’ lost face as he runs away from home, he can still hear the pleadings to stay with him hidden in his gaze - he has felt a lot of things about his little brother in the years, most of all, right now, he feels guilty.

James’ hold on him becomes stronger and only now Sirius realises he is shaking, his body is trembling and his throat is full of broken sobs. Every tear that falls on his cheeks is unexpected, just like the pain he feels.

Sirius didn’t expect to cry for Regulus’ death - he didn’t expect to feel the loss of him mixed with the pain of having lost his little brother the day he had decided to run away from home. 

Regulus is dead and, as he cries for him in his other brother’s arm, Sirius knows he can’t ever tell him how sorry he is anymore.


End file.
